I work as a Palliative Care Social Worker in a large hospital in a large urban setting. My team and I have very difficult conversations with patients and their families about their illness, which is usually critical, how they want to live and in some case how they want to die. There is usually a lot of emotion tied to this, as one could imagine. This week I found myself sitting in the grief with many family members. One woman was making a decision to disconnect life support from her loved one and shared that she felt guilty. She knew that she was making a decision for him that he would have made for himself if he could but it was obviously very difficult. The word that came to me was brave. I told her she was brave for making a decision that she knew would mean that she would have to sit and wade in her grief. She had to welcome this emotion for the sake of her loved one and honoring his wishes. It is not easy but when we accept that this tidal wave of grief is waiting for us and we embrace it, it helps us to process our loss. If we push away the feelings of grief, they just sit there and wait for us. They may disguise themselves as anger or avoidance but in the end those feelings will be there until we sit with them. It's never easy and it's best done with support from others or healthy coping mechanisms but it is possible. Remember to take time for yourself and find balance if you are experiencing feelings of grief. Reach out to your support team. Chances are, they are ready and waiting for you.
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